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Updated: September 6, 2019

26 Comments

What Are Your Weaknesses? (Here Are Six Of My Own)

“The change to bad fortune which he undergoes is not due to any moral defect or flaw, but a mistake of some kind.” – Aristotle

Lately, between bites of onion rava dosa, I’ve been reading Principles by Ray Dalio (available here for free) and getting a lot of value out of it.

I especially like Dalio’s take on weaknesses (emphasis mine)…

Great people become great by looking at their mistakes and weaknesses and figuring out how to get around them.

People who worry about looking good typically hide what they don’t know and hide their weaknesses, so they never learn how to properly deal with them and these weaknesses remain impediments in the future… How much do you worry about looking good relative to actually being good?

On the way to your goals, you will encounter problems. As I mentioned, these problems typically cause pain. The most common source of pain is in exploring your mistakes and weaknesses. You will either react badly to the pain or react like a master problem solver. That is your choice.

Most problems are potential improvements screaming at you.

If your problems are related to lack of skill or innate talent, the most powerful antidote is to have others point things out to you and objectively consider whether what they identify is true. Problems due to inadequate skill might then be solved with training, whereas those arising from innate weaknesses might be overcome with assistance or role changes.

You need to know what you are bad at and how to compensate for your weaknesses. This requires you to put your ego aside, objectively reflect on your strengths and weaknesses, and seek the help from others.

If you are motivated, you can succeed even if you don’t have the abilities (i.e., talents and skills) because you can get the help from others.

Most people especially dislike others exploring their weaknesses because it makes them feel attacked, which produces fight or flight reactions; however, having others help one find one’s weaknesses is essential because it’s very difficult to identify one’s own. Most people don’t like helping others explore their weaknesses, even though they are willing to talk about them behind their backs. For these reasons most people don’t do a good job of understanding themselves and adapting in order to get what they want most out of life.

My big takeaways from that quotefest:

  1. We all have weaknesses.
  2. Identifying and accepting your weaknesses is painful, but it’s the only way you can begin to overcome them.
  3. It’s usually difficult to accurately assess your own weaknesses. It’s best to have others help with this.
  4. Other people’s strengths can compensate for your weaknesses. Getting help from the right people is key.

Identifying my weaknesses

I’d like your help with this. As noted, it’s difficult to accurately assess one’s own weaknesses. If you’re a regular reader here, you probably know what I suck at better than I do.

But I’ll have a crack at identifying a few of my own weaknesses anyway. I’ll limit this list to six so we’re not here forever. In no particular order…

1. Delegation

I don’t do a great job of delegating to people, especially tasks that I can do well myself. I feel a lot of internal resistence when it comes to giving up control and trusting others to help with projects that are important to me. When I do delegate, I often spend too much time reviewing what was done and making unnecessary edits.

2. Public speaking

I made big strides in this area back when I was active in Toastmasters in New Orleans, but I’ve since regressed. I was a bundle of nerves last time I gave a presentation, and as such my communication was terribly ineffective. I also feel I could get a hell of a lot better at speaking on camera, staying on point and delivering my message clearly in my videos.

3. Being present

Particularly when I’m juggling a lot of different projects and have a lot going on, I find it difficult to sit down and give all my attention to another person. I usually have a lot of mental chatter going on that distracts me from what they’re saying.

4. Selling/Marketing

I like to think I’ve improved a lot in this regard, but I still have a long ways to go. Identifying people’s pain points, effectively communicating how my products/services can help ease that pain, negotiating… all parts of selling/marketing that I can get much better at.

5. Being mentored

This is a big one. I have this weird internal resistance to being mentored. I haven’t been able to figure out where this comes from. I happily ask for and accept help from lots of people, but when it comes to accepting help (free or paid) from someone way more skilled and knowledgeable than me… I don’t know, I just find it difficult. I seem to have this deeply ingrained belief that I should figure shit out on my own, and that getting a helping hand from someone who’s already figured it out is akin to cheating. Completely illogical, I know.

6. Perfectionism

This probably helps explain my delegation issues. I think perfectionism can be a strength in some areas, but when it comes to the higher levels of things like leadership and business, it can be a curse, details getting in the way of the big picture.

Asking for help

What would you add to the above list? Any weaknesses that you can relate to? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Also feel free to share your own weaknesses. Writing them down helps a lot, trust me. Don’t worry about coming up with ways to overcome them just yet. All we’re aiming for here is identification and acceptance.

About The Author
Niall Doherty – Founder and Lead Editor of eBiz Facts Born and raised in Ireland, Niall has been making a living from his laptop since quitting his office job in 2010. He's fond of basketball, once spent 44 months traveling around the world without flying, and has been featured in such publications as The Irish Times and Huffington Post. Read more...

26 thoughts on “What Are Your Weaknesses? (Here Are Six Of My Own)”

  1. One of my greatest weaknesses is trying to figure out what my weaknesses are. My thoughts become scrambled when it comes to naming one of many weaknesses that we all have.

    Reply
  2. Jeezz.. Our grey cells are really put to work when we are thinking about our weaknesses. It really takes guts to put them on paper too.
    lemme try..:)thinking,…. Jeezz.. there are many…. huh..
    1) Lack of Self Discipline – Working on it every single day….
    2) Being Judgmental – sometimes…. cant help it .. i am human (not god)..:)
    3) Driven by my emotions (in a way good though 🙂 )most of the times.
    4) Time Management: Want to do too many things at a time…”Better planning” is the need of the hour 🙂

    I am happy that first time ever in life I am jotting down my weaknesses and posting in public. It’s a good exercise. Everyone knows that NoOne is perfect 🙂

    “I am constantly working on these and I am sure that I will win over them”

    Reply
  3. My weaknesses are:

    The details

    Oversharing at times

    Being too casual when a situation demands urgency

    Being judgmental

    I try and work on these in a small way every day

    Good post. Keep it up.

    Reply
  4. Hehe, nice collection.
    I may add:

    -falling for the wrong guy over and over and over again
    -trying to take over responsibility for everything (it’s raining?…damn, might be my fault)
    -quite bad at shutting the fuck up

    I think perfectionism is even more popular than chocolate…both being typical “what are your weaknesses”-responses in job interviews, anyway.

    Reply
  5. Another of your weaknesses is being afraid ( that’s the only possibility that makes sense at this point, sadly ) to address the issue of militant Islam.

    Just today a horde of angry Muslims in Bangladesh burned several Buddhist temples and FIFTEEN Buddhist homes. Why? Because somebody the believed to be a Buddhist posted a picture on Facebook that was perceived as “insulting to Islam.”

    Reply
  6. Well, I have only one, but very big weakness – I love young women. And what the most awfully – they return the love. But I can”t to marry every time because I am in years and I have very young wife already. Please don”t laugh.

    Reply
    • Victor I love them too. I feel bad for my high school friends who are stuck with fat, aging women while I am dating women 5-9 years younger than me on the reg.

      Reply
  7. Perfectionism and delegation are two sides of the same coin:control. Delegation isn’t possible, if you feel you lose control of the project/task/situation/quality of work. Perfectionism isn’t possible, if you delegate it. Give up control and you solve both. Being a parent was the biggest educator in giving up control. You think your children will be perfect if you are the perfect parent, you quickly realize that children come with their own personality that has nothing to do with you. That new perspective changed many parts of my life, including giving up “miss independent”, having more compassion, giving up control, being willing to accept things as they are. If I could give that wisdom to childless people, I think I would say “Look at your own life and your own parents, know matter what your up bringing, you and only you determine the course of your life”

    Reply
  8. I know how hard it can be to realistically identify weaknesses (especially innate aptitudes). I was pleasantly surprised when I had my aptitudes tested at the Johnson O’Connor Research Foundation in New York. I had only a slight clue that one of my biggest weaknesses is the ability to find patterns between seemingly unrelated things. ( ex.Beach ball, Cleaning glove, Rain Boots = Rubber) An ability that that is very useful for diagnostics and for synthesis.

    Also with that said, I don’t believe that I can guess at what your weaknesses are without having worked with you on several challenging projects that would have highlighted them. Maybe targeting people from those past experiences would help…

    Really interesting topic.

    I can see how Motorcycles, Money, Adventure, and Romance would make for an epic month. I am envious. Cheers.

    Reply
  9. well, without thinking very much I can identify a lot of weaknesses in myself. i think the worst of them are:

    Perfectionism – I can’t never be satisfied with what I do wich makes me less productive and/or never happy with the little I actually finish. (altough it can also be good so…)

    Lack of willpower/self-control – I don’t have ADD or something like that but what I do have is a extremely lack of concentration. I can only do projects when I’m under a lot of pression to finish it (the kind of guy who only starts working a few days before the deadline. The less time I have to overthink and change things, the more I can do)

    problems with short term memory – and this is actually serious. I have a few memory problems that I know I have to work around. That always makes me live in fear that I’m forgetting something important.

    Public Speaking – I just can’t do it. I tried and I failed and I tried again and I failed again…

    Spending too much time alone – I can spend MONTHS without leaving the house to meet friends or just walk around the city (I actually have Agoraphobia). I think this ss really the worst of all my weaknesses.

    That’s about it in terms of “big weaknesses”.

    Keep on the good work. It’s always nice the read your posts.

    Reply
    • Thanks for the comment, Eduardo.

      Interesting you mention memory as a weakness, because Ray Dalio lists that as one of his biggest weaknesses as well.

      More specifically, he says that he has a poor rote memory, which relates to remembering things that don’t have logical associations (e.g. words for things). Meanwhile, he finds it easy to remember things that are more logical. Perhaps you have something similar? Might just be certain things that you find difficult to remember.

      Reply
  10. Hilarious. I think my weaknesses are spot on with those you listed.

    My only addition ( for my list, off the top of my head ) is an inability to commit long-term to personal projects, those that I have no-one else keeping me in check. Takeaway #4 is key here for me i guess.

    anyway great list. this is a tough subject most people hate.

    Reply
  11. Weaknesses I admit to 🙂

    Eating 25% more than my body needs(overeating),

    Spending too much time on computer (reading) when other jobs need my attention (time management),

    Sitting too much (lack of physical exercise),

    Selfishness in some areas, (I won’t give
    money but will give my time.)

    Lack of being more loving: as in listening well, not interrupting when someone is talking. Being in the moment & not thinking ahead to what is next.
    Basically I am working on more of a servant attitude towards others.

    Reply
  12. My weaknesses, er “opportunities for improvement” could be:
    1) Can’t focus in the present as I’m too busy looking to the future
    2) Not being able to say no and taking on too much
    3) Chocolate and the like
    4) Failing to pull my head out of my own ass long enough to realize other folks have problems too

    Reply
  13. Hmmm. Lots to choose from. A few weaknesses, in no particular order:

    1. Clutter
    2. Not Giving Myself Enough Credit For Who I Am & All I Do
    3. Can Be Judgmental
    4. Not Concise (Think Out Loud)
    5. Love Sweets Way Too Much
    6. Poor Correspondent (With Loved Ones & Friends)

    Reply
  14. Hi Niall,

    I’ve also been reading Dalio’s “principles” (only 30 pages in but already seeing benefit). I’m really looking forward to the further sections of the book on management styles which I think will help with two of my weaknesses – which, similar to you, are perfectionism and delegation.

    In between reading Dalio, I’ve also been doing some reading around ‘queen theory’ which – in simple terms – hypothesises that we are all born pawns. We do not know what moves/actions we are capable of in our hypothetical game of chess (life). Thus, if the queen just stuck to the capabilities of those around her, the most powerful piece in the game would be lost.

    Interesting stuff if you have some spare time – the theory has also been used as model for evolution.

    Chennai looks swell.

    Reply
  15. Will have a good think about my weaknesses, something along the lines of lack of self-discipline & focus, which I’m working on. And probably putting my foot in it too often.

    Yours? Let’s use the Vipassana as an example and dig around from there. Not a ‘failing’ but possibly an issue with authority (although it sounded like the guy was a peanut). Then again, the ‘why’ you wanted to do it in the first place? Something to tick off in that part of the world or where you looking for something internal?

    Unrelated, a progress report of two back you very casually finished a sentence with “but it was the best month of my life”, I thought you could expand on that sentence, blog style?

    Cheers Niall

    Reply
    • I think that “putting your foot in it” weakness is a waste product of one of your biggest strengths. That is, you tell people what you think, which I really appreciate, but inevitably you run into trouble with that every now and then.

      I find it hard to see any weaknesses of mine related to the Vipassana thing. I still have no regrets about quitting that. The “why” was just to learn to quiet my mind more, and to experience some of the deeper levels of meditation. I’d still like to do that, but not in any major hurry.

      As for the best month of my life, I’m not sure I’ll write a blog post about that, but to sum it up in a few words: Motorcycles, money, adventure and romance 😉

      Reply

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